


Why Did You Inflict This Appalling Woman On Me

by ileolai



Series: Fawlty TARDIS [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bickering, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Missy is ridiculous everyone suffers, Nardole the poor long-suffering cinnamon bun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 19:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14172156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ileolai/pseuds/ileolai
Summary: In my head, Nardole and Missy are at each other's throats like this all the time.





	Why Did You Inflict This Appalling Woman On Me

Trundling in from wherever-they've-been, the Doctor and Nardole are cheerfully greeted by their most recent, fractious guest. She had, of course, been anticipating them.

  
''Hellooo!'' She sings with her special brand of syrupy, unnerving 'charm'. ''I made you boys tea and biscuits while you were out.''

Nardole is immediately-- and rightly-- suspicious of this hospitality: ''Lovely,'' he snorts. ''Is it poisoned?''

''Tchah, don't be silly.''

''Hmph...''

Missy leans on the console, with chin-to-hands faux-innocence. ''If I were to murder you, Egg Man,'' she says, ''I promise it would be _needlessly_ violent.''

''Right. Here we go.'' Nardole huffs, rolling his eyes. ''We've not been back thirty seconds and she's already threatening me.''

''Hypothetically, I'd chop you into paste.'' She continues, beaming.

''Hypothetically?''

''With a woodchipper.''

''Sir, are you listening to this?'' 

''Oh whatever, Egg.'' Missy snaps, immediately dropping the quasi-affable act. ''You started it.''

''I did not!''

''Did too.''

''You're _demented!''_   He squawks. ''I knew we should have kept you locked up --''

Missy, snarling -- ''Now listen here you uncultured, impertinentlittle _blancmange_ \--''

''Sir!''

 

His traitorous boss, having preemptively fired up _Kirby's Dream Land_ on a Gameboy when they walked through the door, ignores them.


End file.
